Today were chatting with California born professional dominatrix, Domina Mara from Los Angeles.
Power Dynamics have always been my interest in Life and after constantly being emotionally abused in the corporate world by female bosses, that signalled a time for me to explore kink, to healthily understand how to take control of this manipulative behavior and later on, convert it into play.
After 9.5 years of experience in the kink world professionally and as a lifestyle kinkster, it all comes down to power dynamics for me. I've been a dominant person since birth, being the eldest granddaughter of a long line of females who were in charge of businesses and finance, it's only natural to be the culmination of this essence of power.
We use power dynamics in all aspects of our relationships: family, friendships, work, and lifestyles. Honestly, besides the context of each of those categories, there is not much of a difference. There are titles that dictate who is in charge or who protects the others vs those who follow them; there are negotiated roles that are educated and taught to everyone so that everyone has the same expectation from each other; but most of all, there is mutual synergy no matter what.
Respect is given to the one in control and the needs of the one in service must be met or else the balance of equal exchange is tilted and unsustainable. Kink may be an outlet for some, but for me, it's a Lifestyle. I use power exchanges in everyday life and I will continue to do so until my last breath.
In the beginning of my personal career, a lot of older players requested very traditional sessions such as spanking, tickling, and corporal punishment. Still going strong, foot worship and nylon stockings are a classic fetish and a great mix for those who wanted domination and those who just had fetishes.
After I started touring the United States, I found that different cities have more fetishes rather than actual submissives. Fetishists will want their specific interests fulfilled and more feminisation emerged around halfway through my current timeline and exploded.
There are a consistent amount of requests for golden showers and brown which I do not offer live. Submissives are my favourite to play with as they pretty much give me a list of 2-3 hard limits and allow me to play naturally depending on my whims and mood.
Internationally, I feel like as Shibari and Kinbaku (Japanese rope tying) is getting more and more popular in the western world. I'm seeing a lot of people requesting to learn and more venues are putting on performances dedicated to this art.
It's rare to have funny moments in a scene so sensual and / or strict, so when they do happen, I feel like these moments are really cherished. I was in a double domination session, and the sub was on his back on a leather padded cage. He hadn't released all week. I don't remember if it was since his booking with both of us three weeks prior, but it was at least a week without.
We were teasing him while he was edging. He warned us he was close and when we told him to climax, he squirted over his own head which passed me at the end of the cage. The Domme who was at his feet giggled while asking if I was ok, we laughed at how impressive that was. We made him crawl over to clean the floor when he could stand again. He felt terrible and kept apologising. We said it was fine and we had a great laugh. We told him he was lucky to miss me - he would have been punished if he got it on me without permission, even if it was an accident, that was fun.
Read my website very carefully. All of the information on there has a purpose. I do not like repeating myself and it shows when someone new has read the pages I wrote. Examples of great behavior are only suggesting fetishes W/we are both aligned in, how they prepare tribute to my liking, and submitting a booking form with deposit and all corresponding information I need to know.
Additional things a newbie can do to impress me is read my testimonials, watch My Youtube videos for Do's and Don'ts, as well as scheduling a Meet + Greet or my classic dining experience before play to break the ice outside of the dungeon. A nice reflective email and / or a positive review on any of the sites I am featured, with my permission after the session, is appreciated. Tips and gifts sent for a wonderful time are always noted as above and beyond.
I absolutely adore experiencing unique fine dining just as much as cooking a multi-course meal with friends. Besides enjoying food together, I love going to music events. I have a talented group of friends that are in bands or who DJ to the niche music I am into.
I spin fire and perform regularly for variety shows and for festivals, and I also enjoy performing kink on stage. Since stage performance is a limited timeframe, a short scene that portrays my skills is another way to have fun with BDSM sometimes simultaneously with fire in a party environment to music without being too serious.
Travel is a luxury and I am lucky I get to work and play at the same time.
When I go somewhere new, I always have to visit a tourist landmark, then balance that out with a local spot; I need to experience the kink scene at an event or perform at the party, and of course, try all sorts of cuisine from casual to Michelin star accompanied by innovative cocktails or global wines. My classic package applies wherever I go and this is a great way for those who want to get to know me a little and connect over a meal before playing together for the first or tenth time.
The best part of being a dominatrix is that I get paid to do what I love and it is self-sufficient by my own administrative and marketing means. I've been exposed as an artist with far more reach than I could have without kink.
I mentioned travelling previously - not only has my art reached international waters, but I also have been able to fly to new lands and sail to different seas because of this job. I am incredibly grateful.
The worst part of this type of job is that the hustle is real with an oversaturated market. There is only so much one can do to stay on top of the game as well as promote real play instead of just entertainment. Sometimes, I also just feel like staying at home to work on creative projects, but I already have a session booked even multi-hour scenes and I don't feel like breaking the flow of being in an artist. I have to tear myself away and get ready, get dressed, then head to the session anyway because there is someone looking forward to seeing me and experiencing something I can only give them. By the end of the session, it is always heart-warming and I feel fulfilled, but it's getting there that can take a little more than usual motivation.
Storytime: Lately, I've really wanted to live in a cottage in the countryside down the street from my girlfriends and we would decide to do a food adventure together. The week prior, we would plan what we wanted to bring in a picnic for the afternoon. We would wake up and after dressing in beautiful garden attire, we meet at one of our cottages with all our designated ingredients. One of us would brew coffee and someone would make some small omelettes with buttered jam toast to get us through the morning while we packed.
We would begin with making tea sandwiches and putting together charcuterie boards with nuts as well as dried fruit. Someone would chill champagne and rose bottles while I would wrap individual breads and handmade pastries in warm towels to place in a large basket. We would cut fresh fruit and juice them to pour into designated bottles for mimosas later. Checks for cutlery and napkins will be done with enough quilted blankets, hammocks, parasols, and books.
We would ride out to the picnic areas on horseback or scooters. There would be large trees with plenty of dappled shade and we would plant Our spread underneath. Ideally there would be fields of flowers and a river running warm enough to go in. Hours would go by as We catch up on life, have Our bare feet in the grass, drink Our bubbles, and eat to Our fill. Some will nap or read and others will make flower wreaths or crowns. If any of My girlies wanted to try receiving spankings or walks on all fours that would be adorable.
When the sun is about to set, We head back to My place, put all Our things away, and discard clothing for some time in the hot tub or heated pool in My backyard. Fairy string lights would illuminate Our nude bodies and We can continue to munch on cheeses or make skewered foods over the fire pit. Red and white wine would come out. Play can happen or not. Everyone would go home happy or can stay over and sleep after a long relaxing day.
This type of day usually occurs on the weekends already, but what would also make this day work well is with one more two of My submissives preparing + purchasing everything for Me after I selected the menu, pick Me up to transport U/us to the picnic spot, massage My feet and eat My leftovers. It would also make Me happy to share this experience with My group of girlfriends who will be pampered the same way by the selected few of my owned property.
What is your favourite fragrance: I find the scent Alien by Thierry Mugler very interesting; it is long-lasting and transforms as the day progresses. The sexiest packaging is Carolina Herrera's Good Girl with a high arched stiletto bottle. For quick casual body spray, I enjoy Twilight Woods by Bath and Body Works.
What is your favorite type of gift: Anything bespoke with my prior approval. I have a lot of design ideas for leather dresses, thigh high boots, lace hats, and sparkling accessories being an artist and dominatrix. One-of-a-kind pieces are much more appealing to me than purchasing something someone else could have. If I am not seeking anything material at the moment, you can't go wrong with dining certificates to my favorite places or new restaurants of my choosing. Lastly, gift cards to fund my groceries or skincare routines are always welcome.
What is your favourite food: Sushi, I will never tire of different ingredients individually prepared, raw, mixed and matched with or without rice. Sauces add a completely different dimension to these bites as well as a sprinkle of certain salt, wasabi, and ginger. A simple concept can be infinitely complex and I'm here for it.
What is your favourite country: If I am choosing a country to be a favorite, it would be which place most resonates with me at this time. The Philippines is going to be my number one. My mother's side is from there and it has always felt like a second home to me.
If you would like to know more about Domina Mara, head over to her profile on Bad Kity, Professional Dominatrix Domina Mara.